


Broken

by orphan_account



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Feelings, Humiliation, M/M, Manipulation, Mentions of Rape, PTSD, Some Spoilers, dubcon, non con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-27
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2017-11-06 03:00:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/413974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chapters 1 -5 and continuation thereafter.</p>
<p> Trigger warnings: PTSD, RAPE, ANXIETY ATTACKS<br/> </p>
<p>  <i>Of all the things Tony had expected to find that night, a naked, bleeding, shivering Loki Laufeyson was not one of them</i></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Don't own, don't sue ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapters 1-5

Tony Stark was a man who believed himself to be prepared for mostly anything. Being an Avenger, he had to be ready at a moments notice to fly into some of the most chaotic and perilous situations mankind had ever encountered.

He was a composed man, remaining in complete control, even when faced with his own mortality; it was logic that drove him, that dictated his reactions. Ever the futurist, he was sound in the belief he could predict the outcome of any situation, and deal with it accordingly.  
Leaders lead, as Steve had once told him, and delegation was his strong point.

But now, here, alone in his mansion, without his armour to hand at such short notice and with JARVIS waking him with an intruder alarm, informing him that one Loki Laufeyson had materialised in his lounge, he truly felt vulnerable.

He was only mortal, all things considered.

Tony did not know what drove him, perhaps his arrogance and self belief, as he crept through his silent mansion, to his newly rebuilt lounge, dressed in nothing but sweatpants and a vest top, baseball bat in hand. 

He knew it would probably do no good against an asgardian god, hell, Loki would probably turn it into a snake... or fire... or a snake on fire that would then strangle him, something like that, they guy was crazy.  
But feeling the weight in his hands, he convinced himself that before he went out, he could at least cause some superficial damage.

Taking a deep breath, every scenario he could calculate ran through his head, how he would swing, where he could go for cover if Loki began hurling those damn spells.  
How everyone at SHIELD and the mansion would look up to him for taking down the god of mischief with a baseball bat...

He shook his head, trying to regain his focus from the images of parades through New York in his name, medals and being surrounded by hot, busty girls, all thanking him for taking down one of the most wanted super villains in history, as he pressed his back against the wall to the lounge entrance, slowly peering round the corner.

A soft whimper echoed through the hallway, a sound brought on by pain, it seemed. Tony leant forward a little more, taking deep, steadying breaths as he moved forward carefully, one step at a time.  
More whimpering sounded, a soft groan and a gasp of pain.  
Pressed flat to the wall, Tony moved towards the lounge, spotting a dark figure on the floor by the sofa.  
“Jarvis, lights,” Tony said, little more than a whisper. He stumbled a little and blinked, regaining his stance as the ceiling lights opened the scene, taking a step forward when he saw the figure in the full light.

Of all the things Tony had expected to find that night, a naked, bleeding, shivering Loki Laufeyson was not one of them. He was curled in the foetal position, arms wrapped around himself best as he could, laying in a quickly expanding puddle of crimson.

Loki whimpered again, the sound truly pathetic, it was so weak. Tony weighed up his options. This was Loki, after all. He could be playing possum, drawing Tony in, ready for the strike.  
But there was so much blood...

Tony took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure as he approached Loki slowly, treating him like a freshly tranquillized lion... Was he truly out? Or was he preparing to attack?

As he got closer, he noted just how violently Loki was shaking, his chest heaving with the effort of getting air into his lungs. His skin was littered with tiny cuts, all jagged and deep, bleeding sluggishly, painting his body a morbid red.  
His neck was mottled with bruises, they seemed to wrap themselves around all the available skin, copied on his wrists and ankles. 

Had he been bound? Tony wondered, crouching next to the wounded god.  
Slowly, tentatively, he reached out a hand, swallowing any protests he may have previously had in the wake of such obvious hurt.

The tips of his fingers made contact with the smooth skin of Loki's ribs. He felt like ice, smooth, wet, yet so pliable.

“Loki?” Tony tried, his voice still a whisper.  
But it was enough. Loki's entire body convulsed, panic stricken as the god turned to face Tony, a terror in his emerald eyes Tony had never seen before, on anyone. 

He imagined his face must have been the same when Obadiah had taken the arc reactor from his chest, in this very spot.

Tony fell backwards, the shock of Loki's movement throwing him off balance. Loki was now curled against the bottom of the sofa, one hand out, still curled up as best as he could.

“No, n-no, no m-more, I, no, can't, no, more, no, no, no,” Loki gasped for breath, his hand falling uselessly on the marbled floor. 

Tony surveyed the scene. There was blood everywhere, smeared across the floor where Loki had moved, on the front of the sofa, all over Loki. 

Fighting it as hard as he could, Tony could no longer ignore the pang of sympathy that clanged around in his chest. With a heavy sigh, he conceded.  
That look of terror he had seen in Loki's eyes could not have been faked. The man was seriously hurt.

But why, why had he come here, of all places? Tony wondered as he stood up, brushing himself off and moved next to Loki, kneeling beside him.  
Loki flinched and tried to move away again, repeating his mantra of “no, no, no,” but Tony stopped him with two strong arms wound carefully around his torso, trying to avoid aggravating any of his wound.

“Loki,” he whispered softly, still trying to calm to struggling god. “Loki, it's... it's, uh, it's gonna be ok,” he tried. He'd wasn't all that experienced with comforting people, but he figured he was pretty alone in this.

Loki squirmed more, trying desperately to escape Tony's clutches.  
“No, please,” he gasped, tears beginning to spill onto his face. “No more, please,” he begged.

The image of Loki, god of mischief, the guy who had tried to flatten New York more times than anyone cared to remember, the super villain, a god, shivering, covered in blood, tears tracking down his cheeks, begging for mercy, that image, burrowed its way deep into Tony. He suddenly felt like he'd been punched in the gut.

“Loki, um... it's ok. You're... you're safe. You're in my house, it's, uh, ok.” Tony desperately wanted to make him at least feel safe. Not that he was particuarly good at things like this. But no one could even pretend to be a dick in the face of such blatant misery.

Bright, wet green eyes suddenly locked with his, focusing as if seeing him for the first time.  
“S-Stark?” Loki murmured, his eyes going unfocused.  
“Uh, yeah, Loki. You're at my home. You're, well you're safe here,” he swallowed hard, feeling a lump settle in his throat. What the hell had happened to him?

“Stark, I... I can't... I,” Loki tried, a desperate look on his face. 

He had been torn open. There was no façade, no power here now, just a broken man, seeking safety. What remained of Loki's front crumbled as he collapsed, sobbing into Tony, gripping his vest top as if his very life depended on it.  
Tony awkwardly looped his arms around Loki's back, trying to give comfort, still a little thrown off by this turn from lunacy to desperation.

“Loki, come on, we need to get you cleaned up,” he coaxed, tugging gently on Loki's arm. The god groaned, fresh pain apparent in his expression. However, to his credit, he did lean on Tony as he supported Loki, pulling on of his lanky arms over his shoulders. He knew that he'd be covered in blood after this, but right now, that didn't matter.

Loki whimpered as he limped, supported by Tony, into the guest bedroom and through to the en suite. His eyes looked more glazed than ever, unable to focus on anything by the time Tony had started the faucet to fill the bath. Tony noticed this, and knelt in front of him.

“Hey, Loki, stay with me, man,” he encouraged, taking one of Loki's hands and squeezing gently. Green eyes locked with brown, a familiar look of terror rising, and fading just as quickly. Loki tried to take a steadying breath, but it caught in his throat. He swallowed, beginning to hyperventilate. Tony rubbed his arm gently.

“Slow, deep breaths,” he soothed, breathing with Loki. “That's it, calm down, ok? Slow, deep breaths.” Loki consented, breathing evening out quickly.

Tony hooked Loki's arm back over his shoulder to lift him gently.  
“I doubt you can stand, but you can sit in the bath while I clean you off,” he instructed, glad there was no resistance to his orders as Loki gingerly lifted one leg over, hissing in pain, then the other. Tony lowered him carefully down into a sitting position, wincing when Loki flinched again.

It was weirding him out, seeing the usually ever so composed, suave, silver tongued god of mischief this vulnerable and hurt. Whatever had managed to do this to him, could obviously be a threat to everything, if it had managed to take out a god.

Loki let out another hiss as the hot water hit his skin, but it was not so much of pain as of relief, the heat soothing against his tattered skin. Tony grabbed a sponge from the bath side, wetting it quickly under the spray as he moved the shower head, making sure he didn't miss an inch of Loki's skin. 

He gently pressed the sponge against him, washing away the dried blood, wincing every time he caught a sore spot and Loki let out a hiss.  
Underneath the blood, the skin was healing quickly. Loki was still a god. Any injuries would heal quickly.

Physical ones at least.

Tony rubbed over Loki's skin as gently as he could, finishing his back quickly, and moving onto his front.  
It was then Tony noticed more bruises, along Loki's hips. They were accompanied by tiny, half crescent cuts, all dried and healing now, but there nonetheless. Tony frowned as he washed gently, cleaning the blood off of Loki's chest.

He had never seen him without armour on before, and was pleasantly surprised by the muscular frame the god had, defined in all the right places, pale skinned, and... Tony risked a glance lower.

He was merely a man, after all. He was flesh and bone, with mortal sins and desires. He was allowed to peek.  
But he soon realised, he would likely have to do more than peek. Loki had barely any strength left, Tony realised he could not fight it, or do anything for himself. He let out a resigned sigh, gingerly washing further down Loki's stomach, towards his...

Tony jumped as Loki's hand shot out, grabbing his wrist, stilling him.  
“No,” Loki growled, head still hanging. “No, S-Stark.”  
Tony drew back carefully, a little perplexed.  
“O-Okay,” he conceded, replacing the sponge on the side of the bath as he pulled Loki's arm back over his shoulders, helping him from the bath.

Forgoing the towel, Tony thought it best to get him straight into bed. He was obviously exhausted, broken and needed to recuperate.

Tony pulled back the covers quickly, laying Loki down in the soft caress of mattress and duvet as gently as possible, covering him. Loki let out a small groan as he lay down on his back, and quickly curled up on his side, as he'd been when Tony first found him.

Unsure what to do, Tony dimmed the light via the wall panel, and sat in the bucket chair next to the bed, deciding he would stay until Loki fell asleep. Just to make sure he was not up to anything.

It had been one weird night.

 

***

Loki woke with a start, a thousand images rushing through his head at once; 

The blood. his blood, there had been so much...  
His body ached all over, pain searing up his back and through his groin as he shifted around, the sheets he was wrapped in catching at tiny cuts all over his body.

He winced as he craned his neck, taking in his current chambers. The room was stark white, modern looking, the double bed he was settled in dominating the room, a bedside table one side, and the other...

Loki jumped as he caught sight of Tony Stark, arms crossed, laid back and snoozing in the white bucket chair next to his bed.

His white vest top was covered in dried blood, his hair tousled, arc reactor glowing a brilliant blue through the thin material covering his torso. He was letting out a soft wheezing snore every time he breathed in, and drooling slightly.  
Loki would have laughed, done something awful to the sleeping Avenger, were he not so concerned by the recent turn of events.

Loki's mind was a blur... how had he ended up in Stark's house? He had no recollection of ever getting here. And why was Stark asleep next to his bed? Why was Loki not locked in an 'ultimate security' cell? Surely he would have called SHIELD, the other Avengers or at least...

His mind juddered to a halt.  
Loki closed his eyes as a thousand and one memories flooded through him.  
Shining silver armour, the scales tearing at his skin, his leathers being torn to shreds by huge, dominating hands... his wrists being bound, struggling against the bonds, blood, and pain, so much pain!

A whimper involuntarily escaped his lips as his eyes began to sting. He heard a mumble beside him and opened his damp eyes, glancing at Stark, who was now looking directly at him, bleary eyed.

“Morning sweetheart,” he offered, rubbing his eyes. “Did you sleep ok?” He reached out a hand to examine Loki's arms, but the god recoiled.  
Tony drew back, unsure of what to do.

“So, uh, you kinda showed up here last night, bleeding and battered, I pretty much cleaned your ass up and put you to bed, and now you won't trust me just to take a look at some teency little wounds?” 

Loki closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Dim memories of a strong embrace, warm water and soft material against his skin rolled through his mind.

“You... you helped me?” Loki stated, though it came out more as a dumbfounded question.  
Tony nodded thoughtfully.  
“Yeah, I guess. You were in a bit of a state. Who the hell managed to get one over on you?” he asked softly, unsure of whether he wanted to hear the answer or not. Loki bit his lip, eyes clenched shut.

_Strong hands ripped his chest plate off, exposing the soft, supple skin... His wrists were bound tightly, held in place by a sword, thrust into the wall above his head. He was trapped.  
His arms were already shredded, the armour his assailant wore had hundred of tiny spikes, and he did not seem to want to waste time taking it off. Instead, the had lowered his breeches, and left it at that. In fact, he seemed to enjoy pulling Loki flush to his body as he thrusted, hearing the god's whines of pain seemed to heighten his pleasure. _

_Soft lips teased Loki's neck, sending shivers down his spine, a tongue slipping out to tease his pulse point._

_Loki did not want this.  
He struggled, trying to escape those tender lips, those masculine hands now tearing at the rest of his leathers, exposing him, fondling his flacid, cum covered cock, slipping thick fingers under his balls, towards his tight entrance, massaging the opening, smiling a horrifically proud smile as he pressed inward, feeling his own cum already inside. Loki whined in pain and shuddered. He was so sore already, not again..._

_“Please, no more,” he pleaded, desperate now. He already knew he was outmatched in strength, the bruises on his hips, on his legs, around his throat were testament to that, but perhaps he could play the mercy card now. He had been doing this for hours, so much pain...  
But the plea only caused the free hand of his assailant to shoot forward, wrapping itself around his throat, pressing him against the wall hard._

_“You denied me so much, you shall not deny me this...”  
The voice so familiar, yet so distant rang in his ears as he was flipped over, the muscles in his arms screaming at him, pulled and twisted, as the last tatters of his clothing fell away from his lithe body, his face pressed up hard against the wall, tears springing to his eyes and desperation roiling through him as he felt the tell tale weight press up behind him._

_“Please!” he tried one last time, voice hoarse, he was practically screaming now. “Please, no more, no more, d-don't do this! I-I-I'll do anything, a-anything you want!” Tears were streaming from his eyes now, he felt weak, pathetic, powerless._

_The rapist leant in closer, licking around the shell of Loki's ear before kissing down, biting down hard enough to break the skin on his neck as he thrust inside the trickster. Loki let out a howl of pain as the voice whispered in his ear.  
“Then be still, and it will be over all the more quickly.”_

***

 

“Loki? Loki!” The panic in the voice, the concern in those chocolate brown eyes, it all confused him so.  
Stark took a deep breath, looking relieved.  
“Holy shit, man, don't do that again! Are you ok?” he asked softly, hands fluttering over Loki's chest, as if he was afraid to touch him.

Loki nodded the affirmative, ashamed of the wetness he felt on his cheeks. His eyes stung, his face felt puffed up, and all he wanted to do was disappear.  
In his current state, however, he knew his magic was depleted; something had drained him just before he was attacked. To even try to get away now would be pointless. He was more or less trapped. 

He tried to sit up, but whimpered at the pain caused by his backside, instead curling back into the foetal position, facing away from Tony.

“I thought you were having some kind of seizure,” Tony continued rambling, still sounding shaken. “You went all stiff and pale, and... what happened?”

Loki shook his head. His chest ached, his entire body was sore. All he wanted to do was curl up in some dark hole and not come out until the entire human race was dead and he did not have to suffer this humiliation, being cared for by a _mere mortal_.  
“You... would not understand,” he hissed, although it came out sounding rather more desperate than hostile.

Tony frowned, sitting back in his bucket chair and leaning towards the bed.  
“Try me,” he challenged. Loki shook his head again.

“No.” Tony shook his head in response, heaving a sigh.  
“Then what are you doing here if you didn't want my help?” Loki stilled. 

He didn't rightfully know the answer to that. But the liesmith always had a line on hand.  
“I required your help. I may have exaggerated cetrain aspects of my attack,” he swallowed thickly, “all a trick, a way to make you to take them seriously, Stark. It was a game. A test. Soon, I shall be out of your hair and on my wa...”

“Bullshit!” Tony roared, a rage unlike anything he had ever experienced rushing through him.  
He was stood, fists clenched over the bed, teeth gritted, glaring down at Loki, who looked as if he'd just been slapped in the face. 

“I found you, you, a god, last night, naked, shivering, covered in blood, terrified, in my living room, having teleported to an _Avengers_ house in need of help, you were _that_ desperate! God knows I should have called Shield to come pick your ass up, but no, I thought, 'I'll be a decent human being and try to help him', and this is the thanks I get? I should have shopped you right away you ungrateful shit, but no, I thought we could help you, we could find... Loki?”

Tony's rage had dissipated as he'd gone on. Loki had clambered out of the bed and was now pressed up against the far wall, cowering, naked as when Tony had found him, the bruises on his body a sickly, vivid purplish yellow today.

Tony sighed, feeling like an ass. His heart did a little flutter at the look on Loki's face. His façade once again gone, he looked utterly vulnerable, broken.  
He couldn't explain it, but Tony wanted to fix him.

“Loki, I, I'm sorry. I want to help,” Tony reassured him, walking round the bed. 

Loki choked a little. He felt utterly pathetic, but the fear that had washed over him when Tony had begun shouting... He was so angry... would he even be able to fight back in his current state?

What if he was the same, hungry for power? What, what if it happened again? Loki did not have the strength to fight him off, even if he was a mortal. He felt so weak, his arms ached, he was still sore, his legs trembling at any weight put on them. 

Humiliation washed over him like waves upon rocks, seeping into every open wound, every tiny spot it could pool in, leaving traces that would take days to dry up, crashing down over his self worth, his strength washed away.

Tony could take full advantage at any moment, and no one could stop him... 

Fresh tears rolled down Loki's face, everything rushing back to him, overwhelming his already scattered mind.

“Hey.” The soft word made Loki jump, as did the tender caress on his face. Tony cupped his jaw with one hand, his expression unreadable, fingers stroking Loki's damp skin gently. 

“Shit, Loki. You're a pain in the ass, but even I have to admit, this is fucking awful. Who did this to you?”  
Loki's face crumpled. He gripped Tony's hand, pressing it harder against his face, the skin warm and comforting as he tried to calm himself. His breathing was erratic, too fast and too shallow. Tony jumped a little at the action, caught off guard.  
He was wary. This was still Loki, after all... 

But as he watched him intently, he found his sympathy smothering all other emotions inside him. 

“Loki,” he tried again, moving onto the floor next to him. Loki shifted away a little, still shaken from Tony's display of anger.  
But he swallowed the lump in his throat, and locked eyes with the man who, by all rights, was trying to save him.

“I, It, He...” 

“Sir, Captain America, Thor and Hawkeye are are inbound via quinjet, ETA 2 minutes.” 

Both Loki and Tony jumped at Jarvis's disjointed voice.  
“Holy fuck! Thanks for that advance warning, Jarvis!” Tony grumbled. Loki had jumped back a good foot, and was now pressed against the wall, a renewed terror in his wide eyes.

Tony grabbed the duvet from the bed and wrapped it around him, acting on instinct more than anything right now.  
' _Your goddamn instincts are gonna get you killed one day,_ ' he chastised himself internally.

“Don't worry. They're probably responding to the intruder alarm. I'm not gonna tell them you're here. Just... stay in here,” he instructed, closing the door as he left the room.

Loki's eyes followed him out. How had he ever ended up in a situation like this, he wondered to himself as he felt fresh tears track down his cheeks.

He felt exhausted, terrified and ashamed. He felt broken, and not for the first time, he did not know how to ask for the help to fix himself...

***

 

The whirring of the quinjet engine was already audible in the distance by the time Tony had made it to the landing pad to the rear of his home. 

He was shaking a little, his mind a rush of concern for Loki, guilt, for after all, Loki was still a wanted man, determination to keep him safe, and a morbid curiosity. What had happened to the once all powerful god of mischief to break him into the fractured man currently cowering in Tony's guest room?

The mash of emotions continued to swirl as he watched the quinjet land expertly 20 or so yards away, the down force of the jet engines sending a thin layer of dust and sand over him, towards the house and swirling up into the air.

He shielded his eyes as he heard the engines power down, and moved towards the already descending steps.

“Took your time,” he jested, trying to lighten the mood as a stern looking Steve Rogers made his way carefully down the steep path from the jet.

“You never called,” Steve retorted, jumping the last step, a look of relief washing over his face as his feet hit solid ground once more. “It was Jarvis who told us there'd been a break in.” 

Tony smirked.  
“Nothing I couldn't handle on my own, Cap, but thanks for the concern.” Steve tried to suppress a grin, failing brilliantly, and let out a soft chuckle.

“You really are more like your father than you know, Tony.”

He clapped a hand on Tony's shoulder, squeezing gently. Tony gulped a small lump in his throat away and smiled.

“So, what actually happened here?” Steve asked, moving to look around, to head towards the house...  
Tony put a hand on his chest, stopping his advance.

“Uh, I'll um... Where's... You're not on your own, right?” Tony grasped for anything, _anything_ to stop Steve from entering his home. 

As nice a guy as Steve was, Tony figured he probably wouldn't be as sympathetic to find a super villan,  
naked and curled up in bed, injured or not.

Tony took a steadying breath as Steve looked him over, a suspicious glint in his eye.  
“No, Tony. I'm not on my own,” Steve said slowly, not breaking eye contact. 

He was calculating his words carefully, Tony could tell. For such a big guy, Steve was actually very smart. And an expert in coercion.  
“Thor's here with me, and Clint. Are you sure you're ok?”

Tony ignored Steve's last question, finally managing to break the intense eye lock and look towards the quinjet.  
“Uh, why aren't they coming out? They sucking each other off or something?”  
Steve's face screwed up in disgust as he gave Tony a final once over with his suspicious gaze, finally relenting with a sigh.  
He knew when he wasn't going to get anything out of him.

“You know, I'm not sure. Thor's been really weird, like all day. Quiet. Just keeps muttering to himself and playing with that stupid hammer. Honestly, you'd think someone just took away all his hex box games.” 

Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Xbox games?” Steve smiled and rolled his eyes as he nodded.  
“Yup. That's the one. New addiction to that game whatchamacallit. Skyward? Skyrod?”  
“Skyrim?” Tony helpfully supplied. Steve grinned.  
“That's the one, he barely stopped playing it until yesterday. Then he went all weird, says he's tired, goes to bed and comes out this morning looking like someones deleted his game!” Tony snorted.  
“Maybe Clint did,” he said thoughtfully, movement catching his attention as the aforementioned archer descended the steps, a long suffering look on his face. 

“I give up!” he shouted, exasperated, hands up in a surrender motion. “I have been trying,” (at this point he turned to shout a the quinjet), “for OVER AN HOUR,” (and turned back to face Tony, looking more than slightly annoyed,) “to get that Asgardian woman in there to smile, laugh, talk or do something. But no. Nothing. Nada. Zilchoooooo.” He heaved a massive sigh. “Hey Tone,” he added, almost as an afterthought. “Some hot broad set off your security system again?” 

Tony chuckled.  
“You could say that,” he winked, inwardly wincing at his words. Loki would have killed him, he was sure, if he'd ever heard Tony describe him as a 'hot broad'.

Clint wooped and put his fist out toward Tony.  
“Touch me, playa!”

Tony laughed as he fist bumped Clint, Steve rolling his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. 

These two guys, Tony smiled to himself. The best laughs in the Avengers, when it came down to it. Steve was a little uptight, but it was so, so fun embarassing him with the lewdness of the 21st century. And also watching him try to use technology. He still couldn't understand mobile phones. 

And Clint, well, the thought he could ever even have been a SHIELD agent was beyond comprehension. He was a real ladies man, a hero, a reckless dick, and probably a liability when it came down to it. But he was for sure the most loyal friend anyone could ask for. 

Tony contemplated this as he shook his head.  
“Look, guys. It was a misunderstanding, that's all. It's nothing to worry about, honest. And if it happens again, I'll be sure to call home and tell you everything's ok. Promise!” He placed his hand over his arc reactor. 

Steve and Clint glanced at each other, a smirk on both of their lips. Steve let out another sigh, a bad habit he'd picked up. He sounded like a long suffering wife.  
“Fine, just make sure you call next time. Don't leave us all worried!” Tony rolled his eyes.

“Yes mom,” he chimed, sounding as much like a bored teenager as possible. Steve's eyes glinted with evil genius for a second.

“Don't joke about that, _Master Stark_. I knew your father, and if he was as much like you as I imagine he was, I could have had him,” he coughed, “ _switching teams_ in no time. In another reality, I could have been your step father!” 

Tony gagged a little, mouth open wide in shock, while Clint nearly fell over laughing, bent double, holding his stomach as his back heaved from the giggles.

“Oh my fucking god!” Tony choked out, face bright red, giggles still breaking his words. “Captain America has a sense of humour! And a filthy one at that!” Steve blushed a little, but chuckled softly. 

“Learning from the best, Stark!” Tony clapped him on the shoulder, reaching a hand down to Clint to help him up. Said archer was now coughing, having giggled so hard, he'd caught his breath. Steve hit him on the back a couple of times, the three of them giggling together like schoolgirls, when a voice caught their attention.

“If you are quite finished with your childish Midgardian antics, I wish to return to the mansion. I have urgent business to attend to.”

Tony's eyes widened at the sight of the thunderer hanging from the quinjet. 

Thor looked like shit. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, his usually flowing blonde hair knotted in places, sticking out at odd angles. His armour highly polished but looking like it had been thrown on carelessly. There was pain on his face, but it was obvious he was trying his best to keep a poker face.

“You ok, Thor?” Tony asked, moving closer to the aircraft. Thor nodded the affirmative.  
“I simply wish to return home. Last night was.... unsettled for me.” Tony frowned. His thoughts wandered back to Loki.

“Unsettled, how?” Tony asked carefully, studying Thor's reaction. The god's eyes widened a little, a frown falling across his face.  
“What business is it of yours, Tony Stark? Since when do you care of the plight of anyone but yourself?” he growled, glaring now. He swung Mjolnir without even thinking about it, merely using it with his hands to add expression to his words, but as it only missed Tony by a couple of inches, he began to back off.

Steve stepped up beside Tony, who felt a little like he'd been slapped in the face. He cared about a lot of people. In fact, he was a different person now a days. He too had been on a humbling journey, much like Thor, had his power taken away and returned. They were so alike, yet Thor had never seemed to gel that well with him.

“Don't talk to Tony like that, he's the only reason you have a place to live, he keeps you, looks after us all,” Steve snapped at the asgardian, raising his shield slightly as Thor's glare intensified. The god raised his hammer as if to strike, instead sending one last glare at Tony.

“Keep your material things. I have no need of them, or you,” he all but spat as he swung his hammer and took off, turning into a speck in the sky before disappearing completely.

Steve turned to Tony, confusion written across his face.  
“What the heck was that about?” Tony shrugged.  
“I have no idea.” He turned to face Clint now. Ssaid archer shrugged.  
“Man period?” 

Tony laughed out loud as Steve giggled like a schoolgirl.  
“Jesus, Clint. Tact, man, tact!” He clapped a hand on the shorter man's shoulder as Tony sighed, looking to Steve, who had regained some of his composure.

“Look guys, I have to go. I've got some mods to do on the suit, then I'm supposed to be doing some commerical thing, yada yada yada,” he waved his arms to exaggerate his point.

Clint heaved a sigh.  
“Yeah, yeah. We get it, we'll leave,” he grumbled, imitating a sad puppy, all wide eyes and sorrowful expression. Tony patted his head.

“See you later ladies,” he winked. Steve turned as he went to climb up the quinjet steps.  
“Oh, Tony,” he called. Tony turned sharply.  
“Yeah, Cap?”

Steve grinned, waving a hand.  
“If you need anything, shout. We're not that far away.” Tony nodded, blowing kisses at the craft as it took off. He could imagine, as he walked back down the steps to the back entrance of his house, Steve rolling his eyes as they took off. 

But his minds soon turned back to Loki. And Thor.  
Why had Thor acted so strangely. Did he know something had happened to Loki? Is that what he meant by, 'other business to attend to'? Was he trying to find his brother?

Tony shook the thoughts from his head. 

Loki was the focus, at the moment. It was obvious he'd been hurt, even if he didn't want to admit it. And Tony, for once, had been given the chance to be the one looking after someone else. After all, who else could he go to?

***

 

Tony was surprised to find Loki casually sat on one of the counter stools in the kitchen when he returned to the house, naked if not for the bed sheet loosely tied around his waist, shifting somewhat uncomfortably, a guarded look in his eyes as he surveyed the spacious room.

“I apologize for my curiosity. I did not get an intimate look around during my... arrival.” His voice was soft, calmer, his composure seemingly returning. He swivelled to face Tony, his lips curved into a gentle smirk, green pools glistening as they studied Tony, swirling with fear, anger... It was the only sign that he was still hurting, and gazing inward, like driftwood caught in the pull of the tide, unable to escape, Tony felt a twang somewhere in his chest. He could see his pain, even through the façade..

“That's cool,” Tony shrugged, his attempt at nonchalance fooling nobody. Loki gave an amused snort.  
“Oh, Stark, you are not as dense as some believe. Even I could see, however, that you were concerned at being caught.”  
A frown crossed Tony's face.  
“Well, in case you've forgotten, you are still a wanted man, Loki. If you'd prefer it, I can make a call to Fury now, and he can send a Shield convoy out to come collect your ass.” 

Loki's eyes went dark, a threatening air around him as he stood, advancing on Tony. Even wearing nothing but the sheet tied around his midriff, he was elegant, menacing.

Tony was suddenly struck by just how large Loki was. Thor had mentioned in the past that he was fairly small for an asgardian, and even smaller for a frost giant, but now, advancing, Loki towered over Tony by a good foot.

“You would not Stark. I know little about you, but I know how much you value your life...” His fingers skimmed Tony's chest, tips running across the glass front of the arc reactor. “And if you were to even attempt it, I would rip this device from your chest, and take great pleasure in watching you die.”

Tony's eyes stung. He backed away slightly, heart pumping furiously, adrenaline racing around his system.  
“You...” he gulped. “You wouldn't,” he tried. Loki smirked.

“Wouldn't I?” he whispered, suddenly right on Tony, his mouth next to his ear. Tony couldn't hold in the gasp which escaped him. He had no time to react. “I, Tony Stark, almost succeeded in destroying an entire race.” His hand clutched at Tony's chest, the sudden movement making Tony jump, inhaling deeply. His mind was swimming, fear gripping his heart like a vice, adding pressure to a piece of steel, bending, priming, a it's very tensile limit. “You are a mortal man. One, mortal man. You are weak, powerless. What would one life be to me?” 

Tears stung at Tony's eyes. Loki was right, of course. Without his suit, he was just a man. Vulnerable, weak, as defenceless as anyone else in the world. He took a sharp gulp of air, trying to steady himself. He could feel panic rising in his chest, and he knew, if he was not careful, he would end up in an even more precarious, vulnerable situation.  
“Even after I helped you?” 

At that, Loki paused. Tony caught his gaze. The trickster looked confused, but there was something deeper in there.  
“It...” Tony thought it through as quickly as he could. “I wouldn't call them Loki. Not while you need my help.” He found himself slammed against the wall a few feet behind him before he even had a chance to blink.

“I do not need your help,” Loki snarled, his face mere centimetres away. Tony raised his eyebrows.  
“Really?” Tony was practically panting now, his heart felt like it was about to burst from his chest and flop across the floor. “Because not an hour ago, you were practically crying and helpless in my bed. You sure looked like you needed it then.”

Internally, Tony cursed himself. His mouth was going to get him killed one day. Probably today, he sighed to himself, bracing for the blow as Loki wrapped one slender hand around his neck, and squeezed lightly, even as his eyes betrayed him.

“I...” Loki caught his breath, memories of pain, of humiliation overloading his brain, everything unfocused for a second. Tony took that second to wrap his hand around Loki's wrist.

“Loki...” God, he sounded desperate, even to himself. “Drop the act... It's... It's ok to need help sometimes.” His voice was croaky, Loki's grip pressing down somewhat on his airway. “I just want to help. I don't know why the hell I do, maybe it's the philanthropist in me... I just... I don't like seeing people hurting.”

Loki dropped his gaze to the floor, the expression grim as the grip on Tony's neck gave way.

“A true hero, Stark,” he murmured, turning away and heading back toward the spare room he had spent the night in. “But no hero can save me now.”

Tony watched the trickster walk into the room, shutting the door with one last glance back at his somewhat host in a very slow, deliberate way. It was a warning and a challenge in one movement, and Tony, for the first time in a long time, wanted to run.

He somewhat felt like a hostage in his own house. It was more than apparent now, if he attempted to contact anyone for help, Loki would surely know. And that was where the trickster was definitely right; Tony valued his life more than catching a super villan. Hero or not, he had to draw the line and accept his mortality sometime. 

On shaky legs, Tony stumbled across the smooth floor of the kitchen, reaching for one of the instant packs of coffee to jam into the machine. He was shaking quite violently as he reached over, accidently knocking the glass pot to the floor, where it shattered, shards of glass scattering across the kitchen floor.

“God fucking damn it,” Tony muttered to himself, his heart still racing as nearly toppled over, bracing himself with both arms against the granite kitchen top, his head lolling forward uselessly.  
A wave of nausea hit him as he took long, deep breaths through his nose, his heart still pounding furiously. 

As much as he hated to admit it, Loki had gotten to him. He had achieved his goal, and Tony was still terrified.

Hit by another wave, Tony's legs buckled, his whole body slipping down, coming to a rest next to the massive fridge. Resting his head between his knees, Tony closed his eyes, breathing laboured, as he tried to fend off the massive panic attack which had been threatening to overwhelm him since Loki first wrapped his slender, delicate looking hand around his neck. 

He could still feel the pressure, feeling like he was choking. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Tony cursed himself. He'd never had these before his whole kidnapping affair. 

_Wrong thought pattern_ , he lamented grimly as the familiar, haunting images of the dingy cave, of gun barrels aiming at his head, the crude car battery he had been forced to carry for the first weeks, the pain, ice cold water, explosions and blood, all ran through his mind, flashing at light speed.

A sob escaped his throat as his vision swam, tumbling forward as he began to crawl, the hard, mable like floor causing a burning cold against his skin. He felt his chest heaving, everything spinning and tumbling and falling out of control as black spots began to mar his sight. Rolling onto his back, Tony slumped, gasping for breath as a dark figure loomed overhead.

His name was the last thing he heard before the darkness took him.


	2. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wakes in the aftermath of his PTSD attack...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry about the time between updates guys, I am working to fix this!!  
> Thank you so so so so so much for all the support! It has been overwhelming!  
> Sorry this is a little short, next one will be a lot longer, I promise :D  
> xx

Chapter 6

“Tony? Tony, look at me. Come on, focus.”

Tony moaned, his body shaking as his eyes fluttered open, bleary and paniced, reaching out blindly in a rush, gripping onto the front of a shirt.

“Tony, breathe,” came another, feminine voice. Tony scrambled back against the kitchen counter.  
“P-Pepper?” he gasped out, hand flying up to his arc reactor, relief flooding him when he felt the soft pulsing, the slight heat. It was still there, still keeping him alive. 

“Come on, Tony. Exercises, remember?”  
A hand clutched at his shoulder. Tony's eyes flew to the figure, finding Rhodey looking into his eyes, concern written across his features.

“Rhodey,” Tony choked out, hands still clutching at his friends chest. Behind him, Pepper stood, somewhat awkwardly, looking at the destruction which lay on the floor, the shattered glass, spots of blood where Tony had fallen onto the shards.

“Breathe Tony. Keep it steady. You need to get your heart rate down, or you're going to cluster.” Tony nodded, eyes fixed on Pepper, her eyes wide, skin paler than usual. This was usually her forté, dealing with his PTSD and subsequent attacks. She knew more than anyone, had been confided in about the horrors of the captivity.

Sucking in as much air as possible, Tony held it for a few seconds, eyes flitting around the room, choking a little when he saw that the spare room door was open...

Loki... where was he?

“W-What happened?” he breathed, feigning ignorance. Truthfully, he remembered every sharp second of the panic which had overtaken him...

Rhodey swept some of the broken glass away from in front of Tony, kneeling by him, hands on his shoulders as he looked his friend over.

“JARVIS sent an automatic distress signal out, I called, Pepper said you were having an episode. I happened to be on my way to the base, so I called in. Pep was already here, said she found you collapsed on the floor. Now breathe.” 

Tony breathed hard, steadier now, looking to Pepper, who looked a little lost.  
“Pep, are you ok? Y-you look pale.” 

Pepper nodded, eyes averted. Tony frowned. Usually, Pepper would be giving him the ninth degree, panicy as she was in her ways.

Rhodey seemed not to notice, turning Tony's head to the side.  
“This cut is quite nasty,” he noted, examining the deep gash on the side of Tony's head. “Did you fall hard? Hit your head? Are you feeling nauseous?”

Tony batted him away.   
“Rhodey, I'm fine. Honest. Just, relax,” he sighed, shaking his head. He did feel a little sick, but he just wanted to save the last bit of face he could. Rhodey frowned at him, obviously not buying it.

He turned to Pepper, who jumped a little at the sudden action.  
“Are you going to be able to stay and look after him?”  
Pepper nodded, avoiding Rhodeys gaze.   
“Of course. Whatever he needs.” She was shaky, voice rattling in her chest. Something was definitely different about her...

Rhodey eyed her, a litte suspicious.  
“Pepper, are you sure you're ok?” Again, she nodded.  
“Fine. Just. He's ok.”

“Okay,” Rhodey sighed, reluctant as he helped Tony up. Tony swayed a little, unsteady as he gripped the kitchen counter. “I have to get to the base before I get an AWOL notice. If you need anything, call me. I'll see if I can get some time off or something.”

Tony nodded, clapping Rhodey's shoulder.  
“I will, thanks for the concern.” Rhodey nodded, drawing him into a hug.  
“I mean it. Anything.” Tony smiled, feigning non chalance as he nodded back, pushing him gently.

“Go, before you get dishonourably discharged.” Rhodey forced a grin turning quickly, giving Pepper a friendly soft pat on the shoulder as he passed her. 

Pepper visably flinched at the action, her body shivering a little.   
Rhodey almost paused, but settled for eyeing Pep supiciously as he walked out.

Tony gave a shaky smile to Pepper, who had seemingly frozen, staring into nothing, eyes slightly glazed.  
“Are you ok?” She nodded. Tony frowned.  
“Pep, are you sure? I thought you were in Fresno anyway? What are you...”

Tony's eyes shot wide as Pepper's body began to glow a bright gold, her features fading into someone else's, hair began to draw back up into her head, becoming darker as her frame grew, her cheeks became sharper, complexion paler,grey pencil skirt and jacket swimming in a haze before fading into a green laced front shirt and black fabric trousers, the golden glow fading slowly as green eyes locked onto brown.

“L-Loki?”

The god stumbled forwards, hands grasping onto the first thing they could find – Tony's shoulders.

“I-I did not know what else to do,” the God stammered, eyes wide, fear, confusion swimming in them, along with the tears. “I did not mean to harm you, I must have... I think I lost control and... then, he was here, and I saw your mind, this woman, I touched it there, and I... changed...”

Tony cleared his throat awkardly, trying to break Loki's intense gaze.  
“Uh, no... It wasn't you. Well it kind of was, but it was mainly...” He took a deep breath. “It's a memory thing. Like... flashes. Me remembering things. Bad things. Things that make me kind of make me want to bury myself somewhere very deep and very remote.”

Loki was staring. Tony could feel his gaze burrowing into his skull as his shoes suddenly became very interesting.  
“B-but, the glass... I thought...”

“I knocked it over. My fault, entirely,” Tony forced a smile, hands moving into a surrender position. Loki looked around the room, confused.

“I thought... Never mind. I...” he swallowed hard, his grip on Tony's shoulders fading, arms becoming slack.  
“I apologise, for earlier. You, as much as I loathe to admit it, were right. I was ungrateful for your assistance. But I find you as vulnerable as me at the moment, and wonder if it is proper that I am here at all?”

Loki clasped his hands together, fidgity in his movements, attempting to regain a little of his composure. His words struck Tony dumb for a moment as he processed everything.

“No, it should be fine. Use me, abuse me, whatever you want. Just don't kill me. Or try to, like poison and stuff. Or read my mind. I kind of draw the line there. But yeah, stay, hide out here if you want. It's not like SHIELD love m...”

Loki cut Tony off with a snarl, advancing suddenly, but stopping only a moment later, seeming to think better of his actions. Tony jumped a little at the movement, but stood his ground.

“I am not hiding from anyone,” Loki hissed, standing tall, towering over Tony, bright eyes glaring down at the billionare.  
“O-okay, okay, I believe you, turn of phrase,” Tony swallowed, nerves returning as he put his hands up in surrender.   
Maybe this wasn't such a brilliant idea. After all, Loki was a completely loose cannon; this guy had tried to take over the world, after all! Well, one world in the many he seemed to know of. And he didn't exactly seem stable at the moment. Tony was drawn out of his mush of thoughts by a suddenly small sounding voice.

“Why are you doing this?”

Tony shrugged as he stumbled forward a little, one hand over the wound on his head. The room was getting quite spinny now, the whirlwind of thoughts and a hint of nausea mixing into one bad cocktail.

“I'm Tony Stark,” he shrugged. “Why the hell not? Hey, am I slurring? I feel drunk.”

Loki stepped forward, hands out to catch Tony in case he fell, but found his hands fluttering, wary and unsure of whether or not to touch him.

“You are... a strange mortal,” Loki murmured, raising one hand to Tony's head, letting a flow of weak magic find its way to the gash. Tony panicked, jumping backwards as the green stream of light travelled towards his head.  
“No mind controlly stuff! I thought I made that clear!” Tony all but shrieked, ducking. Loki rolled his eyes, ignoring Tony's protests as he healed the gash on his head, and the underlying concussion.  
“It is not mind control, you fool. It is an... my attempt at charity.”

Tony staggered a little, his head swimming as he felt the strangest sensation he'd ever experienced; his flesh knitting together, forehead tingling as it did so, along with all of the tiny cuts over his body and the throbbing behind his eyes and drunk feeling flittering away in moments.

“What... what did you do?” Tony whimpered, too wrapped up in alien sensations to notice Loki dropping to one knee.

One hand bracing himself on the kitchen counter, Tony's chest heaved as he sucked in air, his free hand moving up to his head, marvelling at the smooth skin, no marks, scars, nothing.

“How... what... I don't... I don't underst... Loki?” 

Loki shivered, crouching, his head feeling heavy.

“I am... exhausted, Stark. Aid me to rest,” he instructed, reaching a hand up towards Tony, who hesitated a second before pulling the taller man up. Loki wobbled for a moment, footing unstable, head spinning.

“Stark... I...” Loki's emerald eyes locked with Tony's, fear and panic spreading in them like fire in a grate. His eyes suddenly glazed over once more, and without warning, Loki fell forward, into Tony, who reflexively wrapped his arms around the god, eyes wide with suprise when he found Loki's lips mere inches from his own.

Loki's eyes suddenly jolted back to life, fluttering to meet Tony's.  
“Stark,” he hissed, voice as shaky as his body.

Tony gulped audibly, a familiar heat running through his body. Chastising himself, he tightened his grip on Loki and helped him begin to move, back towards the empty spare bedroom.  
Loki hissed, his muscles tensing, all strength from his body gone.  
“Back to step one, it seems, Stark,” he murmured, collapsing a little into the hold on his body. Tony gave a soft snort, which earned him a sharp glare from the trickster. 

Clearing his throat, Tony awkwardly pushed the door to the room fully open, easing Loki inside, where he staggered towards the bed.

As Loki clambered on and rolled himself impossibly tightly in the duvet, Tony was blindsided by the realisation of the day; he had a psychotic mass murderer curled up in his spare bed.

Clearing his throat, Tony began to back away towards the door, nice and slow.  
“Um, so, yeah, I'm gonna go... work on getting JARVIS back online,” he coughed. “Work and...”  
“Stay, Stark. Sit with me.”

The request came out of no-where; Loki didn't even turn when he made it. Tony gave a long, drawn out sigh as he sat himself down in the bucket chair he dozed in earlier, shifting to get comfortable as his eyes locked with emerald green ones trained on him from the wrap of covers.

Loki said nothing. He simply looked Tony up and down, assessing his position one last time, then simply closed his eyes. 

He trusted Stark to stay, even if it was out of fear.

Tony swallowed, hard. Harbouring a fugitive, aiding a fugitive... two things he knew he could piss Fury off with.   
So maybe this deal wasn't all bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: :D So, another chapter down. Any ideas, reviews or anything else would be appreciated! Oh and I'm also on tumblr: http:// theladyfiction. tumblr.com/ (just delete the spaces).  
> Thanks for reading! Much love! xx


	3. Chapter 7

It began with soft grunts and whining penetrating the sothing haze of sleep that had enveloped Tony. The distressed noises steadily got louder, Tony stirring from his sleep.

Bleary eyed, Tony blinked, his vision a little fuzzy, unable to make out much in the darkness of the room... but those noises...

Rubbing his eyes, Tony sat up sharply, a jolt of fear shooting through his entire body as he saw a dark shape shifting in the dim light.  
Adrenaline pumping, he moved his hand to the wall, fumbling for the switch, flipping it easily.

Light flooded across the room, revealing Loki's sweat drenched body, tangled in thin white sheets, writhing as if he was in pain, small, sharp, pained noises breaking the silence of the room.

Insticts taking over, Tony moved forward, one knee on the bed as he gently turned Loki onto his back, wincing at the pained expression on his face.  
“Loki, man, wake up, come on,” he tried, gently shaking Loki.

The god whined louder, lashing out at Tony, landing a hard back hand blow to his face. Tony reeled back, hissing with pain, the contact of skin on skin enough to wake Loki from his unrest.

“Thor, no!” Loki screamed, sitting bolt upright, his chest heaving, body quivering. “W-w-what, I, oh, by, by the nine,” he whimpered, curling into himself.  
As he leant to the side, he caught sight of Tony, kneeling on the floor.

“Stark?” Loki sniffed, clearing his throat, emotion still welled up there, threatening to break through the dam he had created.

Tony moaned, pain echoing across his face. His lip was split, bleeding sluggishly, his eye socket sore; he was sure he was going to have a black eye in a few hours.

“Stark... what... what are you doing...? Wha-what?”

Moving to his knees to sit up, Tony shook his head, trying to clear the buzzing that rang there. His whole body was shakey his leg especially. It felt like it was the centre of the vibrations.  
Patting himself down, Tony locked eyes with Loki, still dazed, when his hand landed on the source of the buzzing.  
“Oh... my cell,” he murmured, fishing it from his pocket.

Loki cocked his head at the device, watching warily as Tony put it to his ear.  
Drawing the sheets tighter around himself as Tony flipped his phone open. He looked down at himself.  
When had he stripped off his clothing? He thought for a moment, putting it down to a natural reaction, his magic taking over.

Looking up, he studied Tony's face as he chattered on the phone, noting the blackening skin around his eye, the split on the left of his bottom lip steadily painting his chin a morbid red.

Loki gazed around the room for a moment questioning himself.  
When had things gotten so complicated?

His thought of train was broken by Tony's long sigh down the cell phone.  
“Yes, fine. But don't expect me to come running every time you call like this, Fury. I'm not your lap dog. Yes. Ok. Did he say how long he'd be gone? Ok. Yeah. I'll ship out tonight. Yes. No. I'm not going to need briefing on that. Thor's gone. I cover. Got it.”

Loki's gaze locked on Tony's face at the mention of Thor's name, his blood running cold.

“Yes. Ok. Ciao, director.”  
Tony flipped the phone closed, running a hand over his face, wincing and letting out a soft hiss as he hit his lip, drawing his hand back to examine the blood now staining his hand.

“Quite a hit you've got there. Not that I should be surprised. God and all.” he chuckled to himself. Loki swallowed hard.

“Wh-what was that regarding Thor?” he asked cautiously.  
Tony frowned at him, pulling his sleeve down to wipe at his bloody lip.  
“Oh no. You spill first. What was all that thrashing about? That's the second time I've seen it, you've been here 2 days and still, offered no explanation. I want one. Now.”

Loki scowled at Tony.  
“I owe you no explanation, mortal,” he snarled, eyes glowing a frightenining green.  
Tony rolled his eyes, trying to not show the fear beginning to beat round with his pulse.

“So you shouting Thor's name had nothing to do with it?” he smirked as Loki grew paler, stilling suddenly. He knew he was down to the core issue. “And you going all stiff and silent when you heard his name on the phone.”

Loki tried to swallow the lump in his throat, tears starting to sting in his eyes.

“You have no right,” he hissed, hands balling into fists, rage, hurt, broken trust, pain and vengeance all whipping around inside him, the hurricane of motion manifesting in the green mist that now wrapped around his body, swirling angrily, stray wisps lashing out towards Tony, who almost backed off as the lights flickered, a soft rumbling running through the air.

Tony stood up, looking down to Loki, standing his ground, watching intently as Loki's magic suddenly dissapated, his body shivering as if cold. Loki was still weak, not enough juice to keep up his magic, or the facade. 

A single tear slithered down his cheek as Tony grinned victoriously.  
“So it is your brother issues. Y'know, it's always an issue with you, huh? Daddy issues, brother issues, don't tell me, you have mu...”

“He raped me.”

Tony stopped dead, eyes wide.

“What?”

Loki lowered his head, moving slowly into a sitting position, staring into his lap as Tony sat in the bucket chair across from him.

Swallowing hard, Loki shifted as the words struggled from his throat.  
“Thor... he... I thought he... he wanted another talk. To reason with me. He saw... To sit and... he wanted to... but then... he... he changed. It was... so sudden. He gr...” Loki paused, wringing his hands, on the verge. Tony remained silent, watching. 

He had never been good with emotion, dealing with displays or displaying it himself.

“He raped me. For two nights. Unforgiving. He would not listen to... anything. I begged him. I pleaded. I thought he would kill me... rape me to death. But... I managed... I teleported... And I was... Here...” Loki wiped at his face violently, trying to remove all signs of tears or weakness. “If I had not managed... He may have... I can't... I don't understand...” he paused, taking deep breaths, trying to keep his composure.

“He is gone, back ho... to Agsard, isn't he?”  
Tony nodded, blinking back his own tears. He had never seen or heard someone so distraught. Even being tortured in a cave for months could not compare to being... having something like that done to you by someone who is supposed to love you unconditionally, protect you and look out for you.

“Uh, yeah. Fury has asked me to go to New York. Back to Avengers tower for a while. Just in case of any more nastiness.” Loki suddenly looked up at Tony, eyes red and still wet.

“He's... he's gone? A-and you're going? You're going to abandon me here? After...” Loki's voice rose a little with every word, causing him to pause and clear his throat. “I... I am unsure about what I will do...” he all but whispered.

Tony shook his head, an automatic gesture.  
“No... I'm... I don't know. It's not going to... I mean, I can't just walk into Avengers tower with a supervillan in tow...”

Loki looked shocked for a moment, eyes wide as they locked on Tony's.

“Are... are you suggesting I accompany you?” 

Tony shrugged.  
“I don't know. It wouldn't be the worst thing I've done, I'm just not sure... how?”

Loki's gaze dropped to his feet once more.

“I could... it...” Loki started. “But no... I couldn't. I'm... I can cope. It's...”

Tony shook his head.  
“After what you've been through, no... It... wouldn't be right.”

Loki let out a snort of laughter.

“Oh, such a gentleman,” he chuckled, starting Tony off with him.

Tony tried to stop the giggled crawling up his throat, but found he couldn't fight it for long, soon developing into full blown laughter, doubling over in his chair as Loki chuckled across from him, both men struggling to breathe.

“I...I'm not, _seriously _considering taking a man who once blew up half my tower, back there, because he throws some sob story my way, am I?” he snorted, going red in the face. Loki nodded, the smile on his face wavering, almost unnatural.__

“I appears so... Although you have my word, I won't blow anything up during the duration of my stay...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think guys, and thanks for the reviews and comments so far, you guys rule!! xx


	4. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8/?  
> Of all the things Tony had expected to find that night, a naked, bleeding, shivering Loki Laufeyson was not one of them.   
> Don't own, don't sue.  
> Grovelling apology for severe (understatement) delay in a/n.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all of those reading this after all this time, I cannot even begin to apologize for the delay. I hate fics that get abandoned, particularly ones I like, and the reviews I have had have been absolutely amazing, and I have read them often.
> 
> I kept coming back to this fic and thinking 'I need to finish it, I need to continue it,' but whenever I got to that point, something would come up, or I'd not know how, and I am so sorry.
> 
> But here we are, I am continuing it once more, albeit with a short chapter this time until I get back into the swing of it, but I will now be posting a chapter a month at the least until this is finished.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your support and extreme patience.  
> Dani x

“Are you sure this is a good idea, sir?”

Loki jumped once again at the disembodied voice of Jarvis as it sounded through the car speakers.  
“Nothing I ever do is a good idea, Jarvis,” Tony chuckled. Loki shot him a disapproving look. “But it hasn't worked out too badly so far,” Tony added sheepishly, looking between Loki and the road.  
The sight of Loki in his spare clothes, _normal_ clothes, a white t-shirt with a generic brand logo on it and loose fitting jeans, it was just too weird.

“Keep staring and I will gouge your eyes out,” Loki threatened softly, though there was no real venom in his words.   
By all accounts, he was exhausted. He had disguised himself as Tony's 'assistant' while they had been in the company of others on the short flight from Miami, a blonde haired, blue eyed young man who had drawn quite a few stares from the air stewardesses, much to Tony's amusement and Loki's annoyance.   
But it had all drained him, and since they had entered Tony's car and he had been able to temporarily revert, he had been all but unconscious, save for a few snide remarks here and there.

“I'm just...” Tony thought hard about his choice of words as Loki's eyes lit up a little and focused on him intently. “Concerned,” Tony tried.   
Loki continued to stare as Tony focused on getting through a busy intersection.  
“Concerned.” Loki repeated the word, as if rediscovering it.  
“Yeah. You're tired, obviously, and you need to rest. Saying that, it's not too far to the building.”

Loki huffed a little.  
Stark was right, he was tired, exhausted, even. He needed to sleep to regenerate, his wounds still causing him great discomfort, try as he might to hide it. And having to disguise himself had drained him more than he would like to admit.  
He was about to present a rebuttal when Avengers tower came into view around the surrounding skyscrapers.

Loki pondered for a moment, flashes of memory striking like matches.  
There were many things he wanted to say, many emotions he suddenly could not suppress, and an apology which lingered on the back of his tongue for a brief moment, guilt, that Stark had helped him despite...

“It looks different.” he tried.  
Tony raised an eyebrow.  
“Different to...”  
Loki thought for a moment, more memories flashing across his vision.  
“Before.”  
“Before?” Tony quizzed, thinking hard. “Before, like when you threw me through the window?”  
Loki couldn't help the snort of laughter which escaped him as images of Stark flying through the window returned to him, though they were quickly replaced by other memories...  
The green giant smashing him around as though he were a rag doll, his army failing, the unacted upon threats of failure... Thor. His hands on him, the metal gag he was forced into, Thor touching him, being thrown into a cell, Thor coming to him, grabbing him, nails biting at his skin, the anger in his eyes...

“No,” Loki breathed as his chest restricted. He put one hand on his chest, feeling there was no restraint, but still feeling the weight of... something.  
“What?” Tony asked offhand as he pulled into the tower's parking lot. “Hey, you're gonna need to do your thing in a...” He looked to Loki, who had gone pale and stiff. “Loki?”  
“No,” Loki repeated, inhaling a shallow, shaky breath.  
“Loki, chill, we're nearly there,” Tony tried to reassure him, raising one hand to place on his should but stopping almost immediately, unsure of what to do. “It'll be OK.”

Loki swallowed hard, trying to regain his senses, but it was to no avail. All he received were more memories, more pain.

“Stark, St... I,” Loki fumbled over his words, his chest tighter than ever, his breathing short and shallow, beginning to hyperventilate. Tony recognised this.  
He pulled the car over, cranking up the air con to cool the surrounding air down.  
“Loki, listen to me,” he ordered, unclipping both of their seatbelts quickly. “You're having an anxiety attack.”

Loki looked at him helplessly.  
“Ma, make, make it, it stop,” he gasped, clutching at his chest now, leaning forward, bending himself over.  
Tony looked on, feeling helpless.  
“I can't,” he admitted, swallowing hard as he placed a gentle hand on Loki's shoulder. The god flinched, but did not protest. “But you can,” Tony continued, stroking Loki's skin through the shirt with his thumb. “You need to calm down. You're safe here, I'm not going to let anyone get to you. We have everything we need to keep you safe. But you need to breathe.”

Loki was rocking now, back and forth, eyes wide with terror as visions of his assault burned them.   
“Breathe,” he repeated, frantic now. “Breathe. Ju, just, breathe.”  
“That's it,” Tony responded gently, rubbing Loki's shoulder. “Breathe, nice and deep, nice and...”

They both jumped at the loud knock on the tinted glass window.


	5. Not a real end and apology.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Giving up.

I know this is totally against the terms of a03 but I am announcing that I am going to be orphaning this work tomorrow due to the actual abuse I have been getting over this story.

This has ranged from profanity to threats, just plain hurtful and rude personal attacks and other lovely things, mostly on ff.net but a few here and some on tumblr too.

I am NOT here for that.

I'm sorry I stopped updating, I truly am, but I have a life, a new baby and work to contend with.

Writing used to be a joy but the pressure of this fic made it a nightmare; I'm terrified that whatever I write will never be good enough, and so I have chosen to NOT write this story any more. 

I'm sorry to those disappointed, and if anyone wants to continue it, please, feel free.

I just can't be what this story needs to be and this has honestly become quite upsetting now, and writing should not do that to you due to stress.

Thank you to everyone who read it, who left comments and kudos and sent kind words.

I am beyond sorry to disappoint.

Dani.


End file.
